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Motherhood is fucking hard

Motherhood is fucking hard
Motherhood is fucking hard

Words by
Abby Johnston

Shayoon Mendeluk is a woman of substance and soulful energy. Enthusiastic and proud to advocate for breastfeeding, a cause near to her heart (literally, she’s 8.5 months in!).

Comfortable in her own skin, and determined to help others feel the same - her new book Wake Up, a quick guide for getting your spirit together, is out this winter.

On identity

Motherhood has definitely given me a completely different mindset than before. As well as declined my psyche from no sleep. I see everything through a completely different lens.

Everything became so much more substantial and absolute.

Motherhood actually re fired all my chakras and senses again. My brain and heart was exploding in ways that I never was able to reach and explore before. It’s magic.

On breastfeeding

My intention was always to breastfeed and I was super excited to share this journey with my baby boy. I had Ayaah at home so I didn’t have a lactation consultant on hand. I thought I was doing it correctly until I had scabs and blisters on my nipples. I was incorrectly only allowing him to latch and suck from my nipple not the entire areola. Once, corrected, we were both much happier.

I remember waiting and waiting for my milk, and then on day four it came and I was so mesmerised.

After giving birth I was so enthralled and enchanted and proud of what I and my body had just accomplished, and when my milk came my mind was blown once again. Every new moment I was just in disbelief. How cool are we women? I mean my god, this is the most real raw and beautiful force of nature!

I absolutely love breastfeeding Ayaah. I rarely pump. I am blessed to be with him everyday all day, but if I really have to I will pump in case I need to be gone for a few hours.

I quickly became an advocate for normalising breastfeeding.

I have seen first hand the shame and embarrassment people feel, and the way in which they are treated when feeding publicly. I wanted to make it a point to empower and educate and support this movement.

I have been asked to leave or move in restaurants when feeding him, and I was not going to accept that! Ayaah is 8.5 months and I am still exclusively feeding him and loving it.

On truth

Motherhood is fucking hard. There are so many times, even now, that I want to break down and cry. Every day is different, and everyday is new. One day it could be great and the next it could be the complete opposite.

On birth

I chose to have a natural lotus birth at home. I prepped for it in every holistic way possible. I wanted a water birth which didn’t happen. I quickly learnt its not up to me - your baby will choose how and when he wants to come.

I had the complete opposite [birth] of everything I prepped for. It was wild.

Words cannot describe the pain I endured for 17 hours straight with no drugs. It was the most excruciating pain, but I had to surrender and just be. And you know what? I would do it all over again because nothing, I mean nothing, will ever beat the feeling of giving birth, and of feeling like a fucking warrior goddess that did it.

On balance

I put my life, work, love life and self-care on hold for a very long time! I had a really rough and tough recovery. I couldn’t even walk properly for months after birth.

I had no help, no babysitter or nanny, and still don’t .. it was really hard on my soul. However, I came out, I healed and now I feel on top of the world!

Every single day I start my day with prayer, meditation and thankfulness. I am not centered and balanced without that. My healing work is mostly remote and scheduled, so I usually schedule clients during nap times.

I also take Ayaah everywhere with me. If I am shooting, or healing, he is with me, strapped to me or sleeping, or awake sending his healing energy as well. The boy has been on over 30 flights already! I do set aside time for for gym and self care which is really key for me.

I do what I can, and have learned to surrender to the fact that I am now a mother and things do not have to be so regimented and perfect.
On health

When it comes to food I eat everything. I am such a foodie, but I eat really well. I am big on clean eating and drinking clean pure alkaline water. I have a machine that makes water from air and removes all toxins. Disease and cancer cannot exist in an alkaline body.

The most important thing I have ever done for my health is the work - the true soul work that everyone must do. Cleaning out all the old programming, de-conditioning the conditions and hitting the reset button on the brain. That’s where true health lies.

My new book drops this winter. It’s called Wake Up, A quick guide to getting your spirit together. I talk about all of this in there if you’re interested in learning more.

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