By far the hardest part of parenting for me thus far - breastfeeding.
A slight delay in my milk coming in due to the drug I was on to deliver safely, a tongue tie, inverted nipples, pinched nipples, bleeding nipples, scabbed nipples, bad, painful latches, worrying that he's not getting enough, the list goes on.
It has been a process, one that we are still in the thick of. BUT. It is also my absolute favorite part of parenthood too. Not because I'm a masochist (and I have had some latches I would imagine are what nipple clamps must feel like...) but because oxytocin is just SUCH a delicious hormone and feeding him makes me so happy. He snorts like the most adorable pig every when he's rooting, gets the best little smushy face once he's latched, uses my boob for a pillow when he's done, then lolls back and gives me sleepy little milk drunk smiles.
Knowing that all the nourishment he needs can come from within my own body makes me feel like a badass. And when he wakes up in the middle of the night hungry, I'm not groggy like I thought I would be, instead I think, "oh good, I missed you while I was sleeping for two hours."
All the "cover up, go to the bathroom to do that," or harassment in general - I heard too many horror stories and I projected those stories onto my own story.
But man, this shit is too damn hard to give a fuck what people think anymore, and there I was hamburger smashing my boob into Kahlo's face while Alex helped hold up my shirt and I can honestly say I that I did not care, or at least not as much as I thought I would care. And I did not cover him up because it's July and I'm already holding a hot little body next to me and at this point it takes all of my focus and concentration to do this and I need to see him to try and get it right, and he's hungry, so I'm going to feed him and I dare you, hypothetical rude person, say some shit to me. #normalizebreastfeeding
These words were originally published on Instagram by @sculptedfilms